Today is Molly’s 1 month birthday! I can’t believe it. Some nights have felt long, but overall the month has flown by. As Kevin put it this morning, she’s 1/12th of the way to a year old! Ha! We already feel like she’s growing up too fast.
This month has been a mix of emotions. Mostly happy ones, but some tears too – both Molly’s and mine. The first couple weeks were exhausting but I was running on adrenaline so I really felt like I was on cloud nine. They were the most exciting and wonderful weeks of my life. My first two weeks as a mom and the first two weeks of our family of four (we still think of our poochie Owen as our first child). I will always remember those first couple weeks as some of the happiest moments of my life!
The 3rd week was probably the hardest yet. Molly was cluster feeding a lot and she was waking up every 1.5-2 hours to feed during the night. I could barely keep my eyes open during the day I was so exhausted. I would force myself to get up and get ready some days – just so I would feel like myself. I had two breakdowns that week. One night I broke down in tears over vaccinations. I just wish there was a “right” answer when it comes to when we should do them. I cried my eyes out to Kevin while watching Molly sleep because I just wanted some “all knowing” doctor to tell us what to do. To tell us what’s best for Molly. Unfortunately that almighty doctor doesn’t exist. I know vaccines are a polarizing topic and I’m not going to share what Kevin and I decide for Molly because I don’t want to be judged and ultimately we are going to do what we feel is best for her.
The night after that breakdown I had a second breakdown. But this one was about Owen. I love Owen more than I can explain and having Molly around has been a huge adjustment for him. He loves his sister so much! Really. It’s adorable how he ALWAYS has to be next to her. When he comes home from a walk with Kevin, he used to sprint into the house to greet me. Now he runs right by me and goes straight to Molly. He is so protective of her. That said, I can tell he misses getting all our attention. It breaks my heart when he looks at me with his puppy dog eyes while I’m feeding Molly and I can’t go to him. I have to put Molly first and to be honest it’s hard sometimes. Not because I don’t want to completely care for and love on Molly, but because I want to give Owen the same attention I used to and can’t. If you’ve never had a dog then you might think I’m crazy. But all you dog lovers out there are totally going to understand where I’m coming from. The weird thing is that SO many of our friends with dogs and children told us that we wouldn’t care about Owen as much once Molly came. That couldn’t be more untrue for us. We love Owen more than ever because we see how much he loves Molly. He is as big a part of our family as ever. So my point is, I had a little breakdown for Owen one night. I want him to feel as loved as he did before Molly came into our lives. I think he is slowly adapting, but it’s still hard.
Since those two breakdowns were two nights in a row, I was a little worried during that 3rd week that it would be a nightly thing. Thankfully it wasn’t and I haven’t cried since. But I’m sure there will be more tears in my future as we grow with Molly. Generally, we have been super happy! Week four was a great week for us! Molly slept 5 hours a few nights in a row!!! Getting those 4 hours of sleep (we don’t fall asleep RIGHT when she does) was such a game changer! I am hoping she continues to move in this direction but I am ready for anything to happen. I think trying to stretch out her feeding to every 2.5-3 hours has really helped. I used to feed her EVERY time she cried. Now we try to figure out if she needs something else before feeding her. Maybe she needs a diaper change or just wants to be cuddled and comforted. We are all learning every single day what works best for Molly.
Overall I find that being a mom doesn’t mean that I can’t do the things I used to to. In fact, Kevin, Molly, and I went to a Dodgers game last night because Kevin’s work got a suite so we figured – why not! I still put on makeup most days and get dressed if I’m leaving the house. A lot of people have criticized me on Instagram (and A TON of people have supported me! Love you guys!) saying that I am not portraying what it’s like to be a “real mom”. Well, I really don’t understand those people because I am a real mom. Just because I was on a reality show and run a fashion blog doesn’t mean that I don’t go through all the things that other moms do. We don’t have a nanny, I don’t have a trainer to get back in shape, heck we don’t even have our parents out here in LA to help us and babysit. Kevin and I are really doing this alone and I am so proud of us for still LIVING! Just because we have a baby doesn’t mean we have to walk around in PJ’s (although if you follow me on snapchat you’d know I do go on walks in my PJ’s sometimes. Ha!) and we don’t have to look like a hot mess all the time just because we’re parents. So in the end I hope I don’t make moms feel like I’m showing them a life that isn’t real. I hope I’m inspiring moms and helping them feel like they can still be themselves and not “just” a mom. I love my new title as mom but I love plain old me too 🙂 Also please know that I choose my prettiest photos for instagram. Of course that’s not me ALL the time. Follow my instagram story or follow me on snapchat and you’ll see the everyday me. Both dressed up and looking “hot mess” 😉 Follow me on snapchat at AliFedotowsky.
So thank you for following me, Kevin, Molly, and Owen on this crazy journey. We love you guys and can’t thank you enough for all the love and support! Happy 1 month birthday Molly! In the words of my niece Lennon, “We love you as big as the world and bigger!”
As I do in almost all my blog, I am going to end this post with some of my must have products! Since the Nordstrom Sale ends tomorrow I thought I should share some of my favorite baby picks form the sale! So here they are:
I wrote about the Zo-Li Nail trimmer before. I would NOT be able to cute Molly’s nails without it for fear I would cut her little fingers! We use the Zo-Li buffer every few days to buff down her nails with no chance of a boo boo! I love that it’s part of the sale! But the sale ends tomorrow so get yours now!
My friend who is a chef recommended the Babycook baby food maker. I guess you can steam the food in minutes in there and then blend it up for the baby. We bought it from the Nsale but haven’t used it yet because Molly isn’t eating regular food yet. Just breast milk for now! To get any of the other items I love from the Nsale. Just click on the photos!