Hey guys! Gosh it’s been a week since I’ve blogged! Honestly I’ve missed it and missed you guys! Don’t get me wrong, I know I needed to take some time off and focus on my family and I am loving every minute with them! But this blog is something I am so very passionate about and writing it helps me feel like I am continuing to do something that is just for me. Which I think is so important not only as a mother, but in life in general! So today I want to talk about our first week home with Riley.
First I just want to say that I hope this post makes sense. I’m so exhausted from lack of sleep that I feel like it’s hard for me to string two sentences together right now. Speaking of lack of sleep, I totally forgot how little sleep you get when you have a newborn! Throw a toddler in the mix and the sleep deprivation is even more intense! One night this week Riley woke up every 1.5 hours and then Molly decided to get up at 5 AM. That was a pretty rough night/morning. Luckily, we had the grandmas with us this past week. Both my mom and Kevin’s mom were here, so it definitely made things a lot easier on us.
Kevin’s mom headed out Sunday (because she is coming back for two weeks when Kevin goes back to work mid-June), and my mom actually just left yesterday morning. I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty terrified now that it’s just Kevin and I with these two little ones. But we’re also looking forward to having some alone time as a family. Both grandmas offered to stay longer, which was so sweet of them, but we honestly thought that we needed to have some time alone as a family so we could get in a routine and figure out how this is all going to work when we don’t have help. So even though this first week has been challenging, I know so many more challenges lie ahead! And let’s be real, newborns basically sleep all the time for the first two weeks of their life. So we know once he becomes more awake and alert things will get a bit more tricky.
On Tuesday, we had our friend Ashley come over to take family photos of us and newborn photos of Riley. And I have to say it was quite the reality check for me. I shoot photos with Ashley all the time since she shoots most of my blog content, so I’m no stranger to long shoot days with her. But trying to get in a bunch of family photos and newborn photos (and sneak in some blog content) in one day was just way too much for me 5 days after giving birth. My body totally gave out. We only shot photos for 4-5 hours or so (with breaks to nurse Riley and eat lunch) and we normally shoot for a lot longer than that, but that 5 hours was a lot for my body to take. And Molly just wasn’t having it, throwing multiple toddler tantrums, and poor little Riley didn’t get the sleep that he probably needed since we kept picking him up for photos. So what I’m trying to say is that it was kind of a wake up call for me that I’m not gonna be able to push myself as hard as I used to. Things are going to have to change now that we have two kids under two. Life will have to slow down and my work commitments will have to slow down. I’m just trying to figure it all out day by day. And yesterday was a lesson that I needed to learn and I know there will be many more lessons to learn in the weeks, months and years ahead.
Molly is adjusting but it’s not easy for her. I feel like Molly’s reaction to Riley is a whole other blog post. For now I will say that she is definitely jealous at times, but we are giving her even MORE attention then before Riley arrived. One of us is always playing with her, whereas before baby Riley we tried to encourage her to play on her own at times. We have taken her on extra long walks to smell the flowers, which is her favorite thing to do.
I definitely haven’t even touched the surface of what this first week home with Riley has been like. But like I said at the beginning of this post, I’m just exhausted and feel like I can’t think straight or put two sentences together. So I’m probably not gonna be able to write out everything I’ve been feeling and experiencing this week. Obviously. But I want to end by saying this, before Riley was born I was worried about loving him as much as we love Molly. I didn’t feel completely connected to him during my pregnancy. I never felt that way when I was pregnant with Molly either. I’m just not the type of person that feels super in-tune with their body. But so many of you told me that once I saw him my heart would grow and you were all so right! When I first saw Riley it was totally love at first sight! I couldn’t believe how much I cared for and adored this little guy from the get go! And bringing him home has been the absolute best! Every time I have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed him, despite how utterly exhausted I am, I’m honestly happy to wake up because I just love spending time with him and holding him. Sometimes, I won’t even put him back in his bassinet after nursing because I just want a few more moments with him – even though its 2am and I am running on fumes (btw- for those asking abut my nursing tanks in my insta stories. I’ve been wearing these so far). I know it’s just going to keep getting better and better and my love for him will grow bigger and bigger. If that’s even possible!!!
And thank you to each and every one of you for reading this blog post and for supporting and loving my little family! You guys are the best!