Riley turns 3 months tomorrow so I thought now would be a good time to fill you guys in on what being a mom to two kiddos, two and under, has been like for me. To say it’s been hard is a gross understatement. I never in a million years could’ve realized just how hard it is and because of that, I have grown so much respect for all the other mothers out there. Goodness, especially to mothers who have twins or more! What we do on a daily basis is pretty much superhuman.
The First Month
The first month of Riley’s life was an adjustment but honestly not terrible. As many of you know, infants usually sleep the majority of the time for the first few weeks of their lives. And Riley was a really great sleeper at the beginning! I remember our first night with him in the hospital we had to wake him up after five hours because he needed to eat. I think the nurses were even a little upset with me for letting him go five hours. But I went with my gut and he seemed fine so I let them sleep. Plus I think that I just was so used to Molly being a terrible sleeper for the first nine months of her life that I wanted to encourage sleep with our new baby as much as possible.
So the first month Riley was pretty much a breeze and really Molly was the challenge. She definitely displayed some jealousy in the beginning. I remember in the first couple months she would always say “baby nap!” when she wanted me to put the baby down and pay attention to her. And at times she acted out. I remember telling friends in the first month that an infant was a walk in the park compared to my almost two-year-old. But in a month, that all changed.
The Second Month
During the second month was when Riley really started to wake up from his newborn haze. He wanted to be held constantly and pretty much wouldn’t sleep anywhere unless it was in my arms or with me carrying him in a baby carrier. I spent most of the month pacing around our house with him strapped to me, trying to get him to go to sleep. I remember checking my fitbit at the end of the day and seeing that I had walked 20,000 steps on some days! And on many of those days I wouldn’t even leave the house. That would literally just be me pacing around the house trying to get my child to sleep.
He was also waking up consistently every 2 to 3 hours throughout the night so I definitely wasn’t getting sleep. And with Molly waking up between 5:30 and 6 AM every morning, it really didn’t make things easy. I think that’s one of the hardest parts for me about being a mother to two young children. When Molly was little and would wake up every 2 to 3 hours to nurse all night, I could at least extend the night and sleep until eight or so. Whereas when you have two, Riley will wake up to nurse all night but then I have to wake up at 6 AM with Molly regardless – even if Riley goes back to bed after his 6 AM feeding.
In month two, Molly showed a lot less jealousy and a lot more love for her brother. So in terms of who was the biggest challenge during this month, I would say Riley. Molly was more fascinated with her baby brother and just wanted to snuggle with him every chance she got.
The Third Month
We are just finishing up the third month and I think it’s safe to say that both kids have been equally challenging this month, but also a tiny bit easier than the second month. Riley has actually been sleeping better. He’ll do 5 to 6 hours his first stretch during the night pretty consistently. However, the last three nights he was up every 2 to 3 hours so I’m really hoping he’s not going through a sleep regression right now. I’ve heard the first sleep regression doesn’t happen until 4 months, so I’m hoping I have a little bit more time with him being a good sleeper. And honestly, I’m just hoping he skips a sleep regression altogether! Wishful thinking right?! But for the most part in the third month, Riley has slept very well. I’m still super tired because being a parent is exhausting and I am still waking up one or two times a night to nurse him, while getting up at 5:30/6AM to start my day with Molly – even on his best nights. But it’s a different kind of exhausted than getting only four hours of sleep every night because he is waking up every 2 hours.
We’ve also gotten Riley on a schedule of sorts. In 3 hour intervals he nurses, stays awake / plays and then naps (EAT, WAKE, SLEEP). During the first two months he was too little to really be on a schedule but we are doing our best to keep him on one now.
Molly on the other hand is going through a bit of a regression herself. She went from being extremely independent to needing her mommy 24/7. I’ve mentioned this to you guys before, but we recently got a nanny and it’s been great. We hired her through an agency called The Nanny League. I highly recommend them if anybody out there is looking for a nanny right now themselves! I’m not sure what areas they serve, but they’re worth checking out. Anyway, I think a big reason this third month has been a bit easier is because we recognize that we needed help and we got it. She’s only with us part-time. Every morning from 6:30 AM until 11:30 AM when Kevin gets home from work. But it completely changes my mornings. I still have Riley the whole time she’s here, but it’s so helpful to have her to watch over Molly and to take Molly to the park so she can get the attention she deserves. However, Molly has really had a hard time leaving my side the past week. So when our nanny comes in the morning, Molly won’t let me leave the room. Normally what I’ll do is take Riley into my office so I can work while our wonderful nanny plays with Molly in the other room. So needless to say I haven’t gotten much done this week. And our nanny has only been with us for a few weeks so I’m hoping Molly will grow out of this soon. I’m not using her name on here for her privacy. She’s a very private person so that’s why I’ll just refer to her as our wonderful nanny.
More To Come
So anyway, that’s what’s going on in my life. The first three months have definitely been challenging and so much harder than I could’ve imagined, but it’s also been more wonderful than I could’ve imagined too. And that’s the truth. I keep wanting to tell myself, now that the first three months are behind us it’s going to get easier. But I remember with Molly that months 4 through 9 were actually some of the hardest. Especially as we got closer to 8 and 9 months because she hadn’t slept more than 3 hours for 9 months straight. But I’m hoping that’s not gonna be the case with Riley. I’m hoping things just get better and a little more manageable as I learn to navigate this whole being a mom to two kids thing.
For now I’m just taking it day by day. And really the shirt I’m wearing in these photos couldn’t be more perfect. I’m trying to breathe through the hard parts, love these two little humans with everything I have, stay true to who I am by not giving up all the things that make me me and in the end hopefully be a shining light that my kiddos can look up to. P.S. How HILARIOUS is Molly’s face in the above pic! Ha!
I’d love to hear all your experiences in the first three months of parenthood with multiple children. Any advice for me? Things that work for you? Or really did anyone just want to share their story of any hardships you’ve dealt with. I wanna hear it all! Comment below!